The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Mikhail Volkov with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, zero percent divorce rate, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.577 billion Soviets are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moscow. The average income tax rate is 88.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Soviet economy, worth 477 trillion Soviet Rubles a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 85,674 Soviet Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists, the justice of Soviet Socialist Republics is considered superior to that of other nations, the nation threatens sanctions on islands only visible at low tide, and war criminals are given full state funerals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Soviet Socialist Republics's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Soviet Socialist Republics is ranked 252,684^th in the world and 1,253^rd in The Communist Bloc for Nicest Citizens, with 1.16 average smiles per day.